Sunday, July 15, 2007
Musings of a domestic-diva-wannabe…
I’ve always admired people who have self-discipline. Who can push themselves just cause they choose to. Who wake up early cause they decided to and not cause the dog is barking or the kid is crying. Who clean their houses before it gets messy and definitely not just because someone is coming over.
I want to be like that. I want to have discipline. Despite all appearances to the contrary (like my new-age philosophy fascination, artistic aspirations and complete luck of the above mentioned discipline) I full-heartedly believe in schedules, plans and discipline. I just can’t seem to get it going. I always fall off track. Even the simplest things, like cooking dinner for my family, seem like a gigantomontous task to me. Why can’t I just plan it ahead and then cook everyday? Why is it such a chore? And why can’t I keep my house together?
Sometimes I feel like I’m failing at being an adult. It’s so much easier to be a kid. Someone always does things for you. But now, with kids of my own, I have finally realized that I’m that someone. I’m the only one who can get this chaos in order. And if I don’t – it just won’t happen.
And so, I’m trying my best to enforce some discipline onto myself and make myself do things just cause I said so. And I’ve made some progress. Really. I feel so great about myself cause I’ve actually cooked dinners for a few weeks in a row (I know you don’t think it’s much, but believe me – that’s a first for me). And I have been mostly on top of the laundry situation (but that’s really thanks to my super-duper machine that is just so amazing I have no words that will do it justice).
And I feel almost proud…
Until I open the fridge and find my lovely Rubbermaid container with pineapple juice… And there is fungus floating in it…
Great going…
Thank God the kids are not old enough to grab their own drinks…
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I know just how you feel! I really, really, REALLY do.
I think those women who get up early, clean their houses before they get messy...all that stuff...they're really robots. I am sure of it.