Monday, February 26, 2007
A letter to my soon-to-be-here baby…
Still here… Still pregnant… Probably will be for another two weeks or so (going by the due-date)… Though I’m really ready to write and swallow and eviction notice, cause as far as I’m concerned – it’s about time. But it will be a nice eviction notice. And it will say something along these lines:
My wonderful new kiddo, I think that it is time for you to consider coming out. I’m ready to meet you face to face… Trust me, it’s a lot more fun on the outside. There is more room, more noise, more everything. You’ll like it here. Seriously. We’ll take good care of you. We’ve even got the hospital bag packed already, with nicely sanitized baby clothes for you… And blankets… And tiny-tiny diapers… And everyone on our long extended family list has been notified to expect your appearance at any moment now, and they are all excited, and can’t wait to meet you too…
And I’ve made arrangements with my dad and brother bout how they are going to bring me some of my favourite foods to the hospital… Cause mommy is so ready to eat normally. And walk like a person, and not a penguin. Cause you wouldn’t want a penguin for a mommy, now would you?
I know we won’t be sleeping for a while, and life will be chaotic… I know I will be tired, and hormonal and hysterical now and then… I know that two kids will be no picnic and sometimes I’ll feel like “what the heck did I get myself into?”… Especially when daddy goes back to work…
But I also know it will pass. You will eventually slip into our crazy family schedule. You’ll grow big enough to play with your brother. You’ll have a gorgeous smile for greeting everyone around you. And you will uncover your own unique personality that makes you so special and yet such a perfect fit with the rest of us.
And then one day we will have a family stroll in the park. And it will be a sunny and beautiful day. And you’ll see the ducks and the geese, and maybe even swans… And you’ll be laughing and pointing them out, just like your brother does now… And your brother will teach you what they are called… And your parents will be so proud and happy for both of you. Cause this is all we’ve ever dreamt of…
So come out soon my little angel… I can’t wait to hold you in my arms…
Thursday, February 22, 2007
How much does he know?
The thing with toddlers, is that you just don’t know what they think, or how much they really understand… One day everything that moves is a “car”, and then, without a warning, there are trains, planes, trucks, busses…
My son has taken to watching “Monsters Inc.”. At first I thought he’s watching it just because of the colourful pictures. Then I noticed that he occasionally laughs… And not just when somebody falls. He watches the rest with an impeccable seriousness on his face, and gets upset if I try to turn it off.
And then today he pointed out the big monster and said something with “Kitty” in it. Mind you, I’ve never told him that the monster’s nick name is “Kitty”. He figured that from watching an arguably “big-kids” movie. What was he saying? Does he like the “Kitty” or thinks it’s a scary monster? I really wish I knew.
And then in an exhibition of even more bizarre behaviour, today he came and hugged me out of the blue, and was very said and almost crying. No amount of asking “what is wrong” helped.
After which he went to the corridor, and dragged in the baby car seat… Which has been sitting there for months… And he never paid attention to it before…
Now he dragged it into the room, and tried to sit in it…
Do you think he’s suspecting something?
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Freaking-out remedies…
To be perfectly honest with you, I wasn’t entirely truthful when I said I’m not afraid of labour. It’s more like I’m not scared of the unknown… But quite frankly, last time was no picnic, and I’m not looking forward to that part of it… You know, the whole back labour, forceps and months of recovery part… Even if the doctor says all of it is unlikely the second time around, most of it was pretty unlikely the first time too…
So now I’m doing my best to psych myself up. And plan on how I’ll deal with things if they do happen again. On account of which I’m getting a lot of CDs ready. Cause my best way to deal with stress is to meditate, and I need some sound effects to do it.
There is this one system I’ve been turning to over the past few years. It’s called Hemi-Sync. It’s some kind of special way of recording sound that sends slightly different tones to your ears, creating a soothing effect on the brain. You can read here all about it if you’re interested. I have used it to help me relax during those odd minutes I would get when the first kiddo was born, as well as during some points of last labour. I highly recommend it. Not to achieve Nirvana or anything (though that may be possible, I don’t know…), but just as an effective unwinding tool.
I have also recently discovered something called Brain-Sync, which looks to me like a similar type of thing. I haven’t tested it yet. But it promises to help in things like relaxation and sleep… Which would be ideal… I would really love to sleep through the whole labour process…
Basically I like mind-altering technologies that actually mess with the brainwaves, cause the “new-age relaxing music” by itself does nothing for me…
Do any of you know any other systems? Things that actually work? Or do you have your own method of calming down when you are on the verge of freaking out?
I’d love to hear about it…
Saturday, February 17, 2007
A photo - essay...
Warning: These pictures may lead you to believe that I’m a perfect parent. They are posted on purpose… To convince me that I am… The fact that each event only happened once or twice, and not even on the same day is besides the point. I need some reassurance here...
So first:
See? I cooked! A healthy meal! A nice lemon-pepper salmon and steamed vegetables! Though, surprisingly, out of the whole variety the kiddo only approved broccoli. And no amount of me telling me that a carrot is an orange broccoli helped…
(Just in case you’re curious, salmon recipe: heat a bit of oil on the pan. Add the salmon. Sprinkle black pepper and squeeze a nice amount of lemon juice (I used half a lemon). Flip salmon over and add some more lemon and pepper. A little later add a bit of water, salt, then cover and let it simmer for 10 minutes. Done.)
And look:
I wasn’t kidding when I said I’ve been sorting the baby laundry. All these little onesies and blankets are ready for work again… And this is only half the closet. My laundry machine has certainly justified its existence this week.
And here is the continuation of project “freeze the kid”... I mean, project "children need fresh air"...
As you can tell, he’s getting very comfortable with the whole snow concept. What can I say – he IS my son :-) Those icy genes aren't easy to ignore...
I’ve even convinced his dad to slide down the hill with him. (Though dad would not want his picture online… hence no picture…)
So, do I score some brownie points here? Please say I do… Or I’ll have to go back under the blanket and whine over my complete incompetence as a mother…
Boo hoo...
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Out of ideas...
Well, I have been on a posting hiatus, and I think the trend will probably continue for a while. Simply because other than cleaning/washing/worrying/stressing there is nothing else to report. I’m clumsy, bump into things, drop things… Still nauseous… Really… On my ninth month. So now you know it happens… But I already told you all this, so why go there again?
What else? My son has proven that he can go around most barriers we’ve been putting up so far, so my dad has been busy building fences to separate our living areas… Cause, as much as “open concept” is exciting and comfortable in theory, in practice it also means that a toddler can get anywhere. Luckily my dad is amazing at carpentry, and now we have a very stylish wooden gate separating the dangerous kitchen from the living room… And there are a few more projects pending…
Cooking? Barely… Hot-dogs, fries and sandwiches have been the staples of our diet for the past week.
Weather? Put it this way – judging by the temperatures, global warming got scared away…
And that’s about it for now. If anything meaningful happens anytime soon, I’ll update you, I promise.
Or if I’m hit with an inspiration of what to write about. Cause right now? Nothing… blank…
Sorry…
Friday, February 09, 2007
My little snowman…
One of the differences between me and my husband, is that I was born in a place where winter meant tons of snow and freezing temperatures, while he never even saw snow till he was in his teens… Which means our views of normal weather are almost diametrically opposing. While he’s at an absolute loss on how to cope with freezing temperatures, and often thinks that sweater is a jacket, I find myself completely helpless and melting in the summer heat waves… which hardly bother him at all… (or at least he says so…)
But this also means that he associates snow and even slightly negative temperatures outside with the end of the world. And the idea that going outside can be fun is pure heresy, cause what we really should do is lock ourselves in the house and hibernate…
Which is what have been doing so far…
And thus my kid has never actually being outside this winter, unless you count quickly shuffling him from the car into some building. He didn’t even have appropriate clothes…
But yesterday, I finally thought enough! My son is not going to be locked up inside any longer! So I took charge and bought the kid proper winter boots, waterproof gloves, and a scarf. The winter jacket and pants set where provided by my mother in law months ago, we just never had the chance to test it. But this morning I wrapped up my bundle of joy like a proper snow man and took him to the backyard… For the first time the kid got to actually find out what “snow” is all about. Cause up until then he’d only enjoyed the view through the window…
His reaction was priceless… Have you heard stories of all those kids that play in the mud, sand and snow, get all messed and don’t even notice it? Not my kiddo. As soon as he saw snow on his new precious boots, he screamed “oh, no!” in alarm and pointed at “dirty”. It took me quite some time of frantic snow plowing to convince him that it is not “dirty”, and kicking it around is the whole point.
But he is my son. And icy-cold genes are not that easy to ignore. Very soon he was plumped in the middle of a snow heap, happy beyond belief, and not interested in the slightest at the prospect of going back in the house.
And you know what? He got fresh air… He got exercise… He had fun…
And then he actually ate an apple when we got inside!
For a change, I feel like a proper mother…
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Expectations...
Me being good girl. Me being cooking. Rice and salads. Fish for kiddo. Chicken for daddy. Beets for mommy.
But no pictures… Why? Cause the camera is safely tucked away in my purse, with an emptied memory and extra batteries. Just in case. Cause if I go into labour in the middle of the night and I’m still not ready, I’m taking just three things – video camera, regular camera, and a massage ball. I know my priorities… All I have to do is survive (hence the massage ball – cause no matter how much my doc says that I’m unlikely to have another marathon of back labour, better safe than sorry), and record the baby’s first minutes (or he’ll inevitably ask me how come his brother has a tape and he doesn’t). The rest? I’m sure we’ll get by.
Of course in case of no-emergency the bag is going to be over-packed with useless things like magazines no-one cares to read, music I’m to tired to listen too, and clothes I won’t fit into for another ten years. Provided the bag makes it out of the basement in time, of course…
But seriously… At this point last time around I was panicking. I was absolutely terrified of labour… I even made a useless trip to the hospital cause I thought I was feeling “weird”. Now – I feel like a seasoned pro. Like I can’t be surprised with anything. What have you got for me? Back labour? Forceps? Bring it on… Honestly, the actual delivery is the simplest part of the process… Nature and doctors take care of it. It’s what comes after that’s stressful. The whole “your life is changed forever” part. And “there is a new human in your life and you’re responsible! FOREVER!!!”…
I remember last time I took a pre-labour class. Weeks of hour-long sessions. And did I learn anything useful there? I don’t think so. When I actually went into labour, nothing happened according to the plan. Instead we had a whole string of events that were “not very likely”.
So I’m not planning anything now. I’m not setting myself up with any expectations other than having a safely delivered healthy baby. That’s all that matters…
And keeping the cameras ready…
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Names and onesies…
The name picking… We have finally narrowed our list down to two names. That was one exhausting process. I honestly think that I’ve read through over a thousand names. I must be the pickiest person on the planet, cause I find fault with almost every name I find: that’s too lame, that’s too snobby, that’s a name of a person I knew in high school and didn’t like (to put it mildly), that’s gonna be made fun of, etc… Add to that the fact that my hubs is pretty opinionated too, and you’ll get the picture.
And no, we haven’t consulted anyone. We haven’t even given any hints to our parents. Balancing two opinions is hard enough…
But miraculously we’ve finally got two realistic names to work with. Two names we both seem to be ok with. And the winner will be decided by either flipping a coin, or a prophetic dream. Cause I’ve exhausted my analytical skills -- I’ve looked up meanings, trends, government statistics… (that’s just my personality – I always research everything and anything… and I used to be an accountant…)
So now it’s all down to the nitty-gritty – washing baby clothes, getting the bassinet out of the basement, packing the hospital bag… (Which is… ahm… still in the basement…)
Also, today I started sorting through kiddo’s old baby clothes. I can’t believe he used to fit into those tiny little onesies. It was a rather surreal feeling. Is it true that someone this tiny is going to be in my hands again? And what are those thingies? Spitting bibs? I forgot we ever needed those! I wonder what else I forgot. I seem to have a distant memory of a few weeks (months?) of a zombie like underslept state… Baby… diapers… laundry… blur… “Did he smile?”… blur… “Oh look, he’s looking at me!”… blur… “How on earth does one wash a baby? What if we drop him in the tub?”… blur… And now those tiny bibs, clothes and blankets are staring back at me. “Remember us? You better stock up on that baby-safe detergent, cause we’ll be living in the laundry room soon…”
All in all, I think we’ve started the count down mode…
